Whore Resurrection
So, last week I hear that a good friend of mine was sleeping around with random guys having one night stands. At first, I refused to believe it. However, upon some follow-up, it was definitely confirmed. Upon confirmation, I almost fell to floor. I was in disgust all day. This feeling was ish, and I couldn’t shake it for days.
My friend had recieved one of the most [if not, THE most] degrading label in our society. She was a “Ho”.
Haven’t we all had that moments like that? …Where you hear that someone is a ho. And not just anyone, ’cause you hear ‘ho’ stories all the time. But someone you really care about and have respect for. You don’t want to believe, and you even do your own investigation to try to ensure yourself that it’s not true.
Damn, That’s a strong word “Ho”… it’s just messy. I’d fight someone to defend any woman in my family’s honorable name. Let a fool call one of my sisters a “ho”, and watch me boil.
Can you insult a girl with a worst insult?
- “a bitch”? ….naw, they term doesn’t seem to have the same pull.
- “a bad mother” …. I’ve seen a few women get fired up from that.
- …that’s all I got, except for synonyms of the above.
Given that this has happened to a good friend of mind, which I still care for, I got to sympathize with these “hoes”. Because it seems that once someone thinks you’re a hoe, or it’s confirmed….you’re tainted for life. “Hoes” ain’t got a chance to reconcile. And I’m guilty…. of judging them too, and writing them off.
A “Hoe” is by no means nothing to glorify, in principle or practice [laughs to myself @ "practice"...excuse me]
In principle, “Hoes” have no respect for themselves or their bodies. “Hoes” are known for breaking up happy homes. “Hoes” are known to spread deseases. No wonder the term is such an effective insult. In these times, ‘whore-ship’ is written off as a greater sin then stealing, or lying. Hell, the most timid murderer probably would get more love than the most tenacious whore. Whores seem to be on the same social levels as feens or hobos.
<shrug> That’s just how is it.
Social excommunication for “hoes”.
I don’t really want to get into “WHY” girls become hoes… I’m more intrigued right now with how we treat a ‘confirmed hoe’.
Honestly… I want my friend to have her dignity again. I want her to get her respect back. But there’s no reconcile for hoes. Unless she changes her identity, start a fresh Facebook profile, and switch schools. [flashback] Remember those kids in High School that switched schools ’cause their reputation turned to sh__. [back to the present] I wish it didn’t take all that just to repent and be accepted by your peers once again.
Despite my disappointment, I will forgive my friend, given that she’s willing to give it up [no pun intended].
WWJD?
Mary Magdalene was one of the most renowned “hoe” of all time. This “hoe” got No Lie. She was practically Jesus’s BFF. He even allowed her to wash his feet, in public. Click here for yourself
Jesus’s great, great, great….grandmother was a “hoe”. Rahab of Jericho. No Lie. Click here for yourself.
It’s funny. “Hoes” have been getting judged since Bible times. Even Mary, Jesus’ mother, was worried of being labeled a “hoe” when Joseph and the community found out she was impregnated by God. She was afraid Joseph would leave her. Joseph had the mind to divorce her;. An angel had to come to Joseph in a dream and assure him that Mary wasn’t being a “hoe”. Excuse me, Lord, for explaining that so bluntly.
I don’t condone it, but it bothers me how a “whore-ish sin” [esp. women] seems to brand people for life.
And sure…any public association with with sin with haunt you, i.e. Murder with O.J., Lies with Pres. Clinton/Nixon, Stealing with Winona Ryder. And perhaps, I’m speaking for those other sins as well too. I could definitely pull out some more scripture on that.
But, with me being an outgoing, middle-class, university student, with no criminal record, “being a hoe” is the biggest deal.
I hope I don’t disappoint you, by ending this note with a reminder to “repent and forgive”….but…
To “Hoes” [confirmed/unconfirmed]: The choice is yours.
To those who judge “Hoes”: WWJD?
*screams* check your email
holly denise said this on July 11, 2008 at 2:55 pm |
So I was being bored and decided to Continue reading note at justinfication.wordpress.com. This is a very interesting topic and one Brande, Mary, and I were talking about just today in the MIC. Reflecting back on that conversation, it made me think on something that was said. Even though being a hoe is a stigma, I ask the question in whose culture. I’ve noticed mostly in the African-American culture that being a hoe is a stigma. As Brande said earlier today, “The one thing we are taught over everything else is to keep our reputation in tact.” She also went on to express that some culture, yes in America, teach their daughters to be sexually aggressive. I agree with both things Brande said, and I propose a question to elaborate further on “our society” and who the our is plus the differences between being a “black hoe” and a from another race or culture?
Sorry for so long… I’m messy, so I talk a lot!
Warnessa said this on July 11, 2008 at 7:46 pm |
whoa when did this website come about? anyway, I think hoes have a way of making it back (sort of)- doing really well in whatever career path they have chosen. Yea it sucks to have that term labeled on you, but in some years’ time, hopefully she’ll just be known as “a crazy young adult” and not “that middle-aged ho”. I know someone who had a similar reputation in high school but she’s definitely flying high and no one can argue that she’s not doing amazingly well in school/internships/traveling/pursuing her dreams. Give people something else to talk about, the the label can be covered in time.
Tram-Anh! said this on July 11, 2008 at 8:47 pm |
This is painfully true. It sucks that people who are branded ‘hoes’ have to walk around ‘wearing it’ like a Scarlet Letter for a good chunk of their lifetime, or at least, over the course of a school/college career and amongst their school/college friends.
It’s hard not to judge when many of us have been taught about respect, dignity, and the value of reputation, how what you do ‘reflects back’ on your household and how you were raised. Further, as quiet as it likes to be kept, we like to judge. We like to be the one holding someone else to a standard, because it means we can say, “Well, damn, I was bad, but I wasn’t THIS bad.”
The biggest issue, IMO, is when so called ‘hoes’ add fuel to the fire and continue to be promiscuous even as the stories about them continue to grow in number. You want to ask yourself, “Do they even care?” A better question might be, “Should YOU?” Ultimately, it’s kind of like Warnessa said – on the one hand, from a societal context, being a ‘ho’ or being promiscuous is relative. We’re told ‘if it looks like a ho and talks like a ho’… but sometimes this completely neglects the human side of this person, as if ‘ho-ing around’ is all they do. On the other hand, we have to be careful how we levy this title upon others. Like you said, ‘ho’ is a strong word, and it can’t exactly be applied to every occasion (e.g., just because a young lady wears something ’skimpy’ to the club, she looks like a…). We must be willing to be more respectful and mindful of other people, even if it APPEARS these people may be lacking in respect for themselves.
I do wish your friend the best of luck, though. Reputation is relative, and people might not always be willing to give the good as much time and attention as they do the bad; but if Mary Magdalene can change, your friend can too. And hopefully, the people around her, will see her less as “she’s a ho” and more like “she’s grown up a lot”…
J Dot Howard said this on July 19, 2008 at 8:49 am |
[...] However, that’s not really in the American Way either. Hobos stay Hobos. Crooks stay Crooks. Hoes stay Hoes. It’s a dog-eat-dog world. We write each other off way too easy… Possibly related posts: [...]
Homeless, Hopeless « Just thoughts, Just opinions said this on July 19, 2008 at 9:56 pm |
A really good, honest friend writes to me:
He’s right..
Why do I have to call her a “ho” is a first place? Did the Scarlett Letter Teach me nothing? Being her friend would be to hold her accountable. As a friend I should guide her back to the path of righteousness. I shouldn’t even be concerned with such a term if I really mean good for her. Me calling her that isn’t going to help. I should be able to approach her with love and not even consider calling her out her name.
…just thoughts
justinfication said this on July 29, 2008 at 9:23 am |
i know this is an old post, but i am just reading it now for the first time. i just wanted to say that i don’t know if “hoes” exist.
does anyone ever stop to think of why a girl is sleeping around? i can tell you from experience, there are several things that might make a woman (or girl) do this.
for one, our society puts so much pressure on women to be appealing to men. i was always the fat girl, so i felt extra pressure to do sexual things when someone of the opposite sex actually paid attention to me, and, unfortunately, they were in the position to take advantage of that and did (i was just a child).
later on in life, i was raped and also in emotionally abusive relationships. i struggled with the after affects of sexual and emotional abuse which left me empty on the inside. i felt like “giving up.” and since the sexual abuse situation was such a violation of my control over myself, over my own body, i think i felt that the only way to regain that control was to be in control of my body in a sexual way. we all “self medicate” in our own ways. i think that is hard for people who are “sheltered” (for lack of better wording) to understand. i think it is especially hard for men to understand this. you don’t have to think about these things.
you know how they always tell you “1 in 5 women are or will be raped”.. it’s hard to believe, i know. but think about this justin.. you know me and we were close at one time, and i am one of those women – you never knew. think about how many women you know and those odds and the numbers will add up.
i have been accused of being a “ho” because i was raped by 2 people and there was a rumor spread around my high school saying that i slept with them. i even went along with it for awhile because it was easier for me to admit that i was promiscuous than that i was raped. i can’t even explain it..
maybe i’m speaking too frank, but i just feel very strongly about the way women are allowed to be treated in our society, and i think tolerance of words like “slut” and “ho” are one of the factors that keep us down.
sad said this on August 24, 2008 at 4:29 am |